LOST 6x03 - "What Kate Does" Review and Commentary

Fan reaction to last night's episode, "What Kate Does," has already been extremely negative. To some extent, I can understand-- it lacked the momentum of the premiere and its best moments were based on character drama rather than mysteries and reveals. The Others at the Temple, led by Dogen and Lennon, have already become annoying and very Season 3-esque in their inability to give a straight answer. For example:




Seriously, I'm starting to think that Jack and his friends should just start playing a variation of "Simon Says" with these guys:

JACK: "Who are you protecting us from?"

LENNON: "We can't tell you."

JACK: "Umm... Jacob said to tell us who you're protecting us from."

LENNON: "Oh, okay."

What I don't get is, if the Oceanic survivors are so important that Jacob would personally visit each of them and send a giant ankh containing a list of their names across the world when they returned, why haven't the Others started trusting them with their secrets yet? Why do they continue to insist on cryptic jargon and answers that aren't answers? Can you imagine living with these people?

"What Kate Does" felt more like one of those stall tactic episodes of old. It did NOT feel like the sixteenth-to-last hour of LOST ever. It makes sense, then, that a lot of fans were frustrated. At the same time, I do feel like there were some enjoyable things about the episode.


Jack seems to have returned to leadership status. I never thought I'd say it, but I like seeing him step up and take initiative, even when circumstances are completely out of his control. Taking the poison pill meant for Sayid was brilliant, and a great way to show his captors that they still do not have complete control over him. Despite my frustration with Dogen, I enjoyed his leader-to-leader conversation with Jack about the need to keep a distance from those he commands. It feels like Jack is being groomed for something in a big way.


On the other hand, on-Island Kate was back to being Kate-- treacherous, duplicitous and completely willing to exploit trust. She even managed to fool the Others. I gained a lot of respect for her in Season 5 when it was revealed that she had the most altruistic reason of any of the Oceanic 6 for coming back to the Island-- finding Claire-- but that respect is fading fast.


The best scene of the night occurred in the barracks. LOST doesn't often tempt me to actual tears, but Josh Holloway's performance in this episode was moving. Seeing the barracks in shambles, I realized I had forgotten that Sawyer and Juliet had called the place home for three years. Suddenly I was hit with the utter despair Sawyer must have felt at seeing those abandoned buildings that used to be populated by three years of friendships, good times, and memories of Juliet. On the dock, Sawyer threw away the engagement ring he had bought and wept right on the spot where their catch phrase, "I got your back," was born.


I have to wonder if Kate's crying was partly for herself.


She has probably never had a love as strong as the one between Sawyer and Juliet. And any chance she ever had with Sawyer is gone now. He's a broken man, the kind who you could really believe may never love again. There's a tragic beauty there that played out perfectly in Holloway's performance.


There were some nice cameos sprinkled throughout the episode as LOST's "reunion tour" continued.


Arzt showed up again.


Aldo took me a few minutes to recognize.


Three seasons ago, Kate knocked him out while she and Sawyer were escaping from the Others.


Ethan's appearance made me wonder when we'll see Tom, another of my favorite Others. He introduced himself as Dr. Goodspeed, another reminder of how the sinking of the Island in the Alternate Universe has affected the characters. Rather than growing up on the Island, Ethan made it back on the sub with his mother, Amy Goodspeed. He still took up medicine as a career. Best line of the night: "I don't want to go sticking needles in you if I don't have to."




Thanks, Ethan, we'll remember that.


It's little touches like that, in-jokes meant for the long-time devoted fans, that are making the flash-sideways so much fun. This whole episode was about Aaron's two mommies. Like on the Island, Aaron's name just seemed to come to Claire out of the blue. Kate had a moment when she first heard the name like she somehow recognized it. And, once again, destiny kept Claire from giving Aaron away. Last time, it was a pen that didn't work at the last minute.


Friends in our LOST chat room will attest that I called the ending shot of the episode early on. Dogen said that the same kind of "infection" that Sayid now has had already happened to Jack's sister. I'm now completely at a loss to explain what's going on. For a long time I had theorized that one could "die" on the Island, and if you were special, like the people on Jacob's lists, you could live on but never be able to leave. Last week I thought that was what happened to Sayid (I was not one of those who bought the whole "Sayid is Jacob" theory). But now I don't know.

I can praise the episode for its setup-- I can't wait to find out, finally, what the deal is with Claire. I also welcome the return of the lovely Emilie de Ravin, who still brings the same kind of innocent charm to the show that she had in early seasons. Something tells me, though, that her Island incarnation will not be quite so plucky.


Take heart, LOST fans! There are ups and downs on any roller coaster. If nothing else, we got this year's Kate episode out of the way early. Next week is-- spoiler alert-- LOCKE-CENTRIC. And you can't ask for more than that!

Dr. Chang in Bud Light Commercial

Thanks DarkUFO!



Nice to know he lightened up a bit after making it off the Island.

Also, here is a LOST parody commercial. Someone in the Bud Light ad department must be a LOST fan!

Is "LA X" the Best LOST Season Premiere?

You can't help but be biased when you experience an amazing season premiere like "LA X." Since it's fresh in your mind, it's easy to favor it over other premieres. It's tougher to look back objectively and remember each premiere, not only for the content, but for the emotions you went through while you experienced it. I've been thinking about past premieres, and I can honestly say that in my most objective appraisal, "LA X" sits nearly at the top of the pile.

What was interesting as I looked back was the realization that while many of the premieres had fantastic opening sequences, with huge shock twists that set the stage for episodes to follow, they sort of fizzled after that opening adrenaline rush. We tend to remember those episodes for their "opening reveals" and forget that the content after the first commercial break was less than stellar. Admittedly, season 6 has an advantage over seasons 2 - 4 because those seasons only had one-hour premieres. But let's take a look at all of the premieres (in ranked order) to see how they stack up.

6. Season 3 - "A Tale of Two Cities"



For something as momentous as the true introduction to the world of the Others, the third season premiere started strong with an amazing reveal... and then fell flat for the entire rest of the episode. Like the season 2 premiere, it opened with a new character, Juliet, in an environment for which we had no context, before unveiling that the scene was taking place on the Island. In this case, we saw that the Others lived in comfy houses we would later come to know as the barracks, a stark contrast to the primitives in tattered clothes that they pretended to be to that point.



After the reveal, however, the rest of the episode is about little more than Ben's mind games and Jack, Kate and Sawyer's captivity. This premiere suffers from being the first episode of the "mini-arc," the lowest point of the series. The pacing was super-slow because an end date hadn't been set for the show yet. Another common fan complaint about this premiere is that Jack, Kate and Sawyer were the ONLY survivors in the entire thing, and we had to wait until episode 3 to get back to the beach camp. The Jack flashback, which served only to further demonstrate Jack's obsessiveness, was an early sign that the flashbacks were becoming repetitive and trite.

5. Season 4 - "The Beginning of the End"



It was the first time we had to wait an entire eight months for new LOST episodes, so expectations were high for "The Beginning of the End." The biggest questions on everyone's minds were, "Who is on the freighter," and "What will the flash-forwards be like?" While this episode delivered on the latter question, the Island story was more about wrapping up loose ends from the previous seasons than setting the stage for the new one. We would have to wait another week for that, in the episode "Confirmed Dead."



Usually the biggest indicator of a lackluster episode is when the off-Island story is more interesting than the Island side of the hour, and it's certainly true here. Making the unusual move to debut a season with a Hurley-centric episode, the writers quickly unleashed a barrage of new questions and information in his flash-forward. Who were the Oceanic 6? Why was Hurley lying about the Island? Who was Abbadon? The baffling, yet emotional appearance by Charlie was the highlight of the episode. Islandside, however, the aftermath of Charlie's death and the re-death of Naomi slowed down the momentum. The real letdown was that we only saw our first freighter character in the last few seconds.

4. Season 5 - "Because You Left"/"The Lie"



I'm including both of these episodes because they premiered back to back on the same night, so they may as well have been a two-parter like the season 1 and 6 premieres. While ultimately, I was underwhelmed by the time travel element of season 5, it was a novelty in these premiere episodes and presented many new dangers for the characters. There were some great action pieces, an unusual amount of humor, and some genuine payoff for the seeds planted at the end of season 4. Of course, those elements were soon dropped like rocks, but I won't lapse into my criticism of season 5. This is about the premiere.



The split nature of the cast in season 5 started right here, with the Oceanic 6 beginning "the journey back" and the Left-Behinds experiencing the "very bad things" that happened after their friends left. From flaming arrows to time flashes, to the prospect of starting over on the beach from scratch, things looked grim. Moments like Faraday popping up in the Dharma era and Locke witnessing the crash of the Nigerian drug plane were great fanboy squeal moments. The adventures of Hurley and Sayid, complete with a cameo by Ana-Lucia, kept us laughing. Unlike most premieres, these two episodes were among the season's best, although the bar was pretty low in season 5 (sorry).

3. Season 2 - "Man of Science, Man of Faith"



Earlier I said that the premieres should be judged by more than just their trademark opening reveals. However, this one was so darn good that it simply overpowers the entire episode. In one of LOST's most iconic moments, we are introduced to Desmond, who plays Mama Cass' "Make Your Own Kind of Music" during his morning routine. The song would become practically synonymous with LOST in the coming years. Then, when he hears an explosion and springs into action, the audience realizes that they've been in the Hatch the entire time, and the biggest mystery of last season was revealed without them even knowing.



The impact of the opener was tremendous. More people watched it live than any other premiere-- this is back when LOST was getting 20+ million viewers per episode. In terms of lasting effect on the show, the Swan hatch changed the entire nature of the Island drama, with much of it shifting to the that little pocket of 70s technology buried beneath the ground. Furthermore, the themes of faith and destiny that permeated the episode presented a model for the larger debate of the entire series. Jack's experience with the miraculous healing of his future wife give him depth that is often betrayed by his skepticism. And how could the hair on the back of one's neck not stand on end when Jack realizes his connection to the man in the hatch?

2. Season 6 - "LA X"



More than any other season, the fifth year of LOST ended with absolutely no indication of how the series would possibly proceed in the coming year. Juliet appeared to detonate a nuclear bomb in order to reset time, and the question was as simple as the answer was unknowable: did it work? The answer turned out to be yes... and no. Say what? Perhaps for the first time since the original flash-forward, the opening twist of season 6 was something almost no one guessed: we would bear witness to two worlds, one in which the bomb changed history and our heroes landed safely in LA, and another in which it only blasted them forward to 2007 to continue their on-Island adventures. The writers decided to let us have our cake and eat it too.



As of this writing, it's unknown where these new "flash-sideways" will take us. Judging from the premiere, however, the new universe looks to be an intriguing new way to look at the beloved characters we know so well. On the Island, the reveals came fast and furious, delivering on the season 6 promise of answers. We saw the temple, the purpose of the circles of ash, and what was in Hurley's guitar case. And biggest of all, Fake Locke was Smokey! The premiere's only real drawback to the episode was the unnecessarily drawn out death of Juliet. Otherwise, it was action packed and satisfying from start to finish.

1. Season 1 - "Pilot"



The pilot has the unfair advantage of being not just a season premiere, but the launch of the greatest television series in human history. As such, it introduced us to all of the characters, the mysteries and the themes that would keep us glued to our televisions for years to come. More than that, it was the most expensive two hours of television produced to that date, and felt more like a movie than anything produced for the small screen. It's almost impossible to watch the pilot and not be mesmerized by its impact. Having seen the pilot many times as I've introduced friends and relatives to LOST, I can attest to that.



After an ominously serene moment when Jack awakes in the jungle, the episode launched into the adrenaline-pumping crash site sequence, and the episode barely let up from there. The smoke monster. The voyage to the front section of the plane. The polar bear attack. The radio signal and the stark realization that rescue was unlikely at best. It became evident in these two hours that LOST was much more than a scripted "Survivor" or "Cast Away: The Series." It was about mystery, wonderment, and powerful character drama. The Island would change the survivors, and they would in turn change each other as the series progressed.

There's just no beating that first introduction to the vast mythology of LOST. But as premieres go, "LA X" came closest to the pilot in terms of sheer excitement and intrigue over the potential for what the coming episodes will bring. We're dealing with a whole new LOST landscape this season, not just as far as the reset universe goes, but in terms of the Island story, which rapidly increased in scope and momentum. We're careening toward the end game now, which admittedly gives season 6 an advantage of its own. On a personal level, those two hours helped restore my faith in the show and bring back that old feeling of anticipation that makes LOST so great.

I'd like to hear your feedback on your favorite or least favorite premieres!

Christina and Ben Chat About the LOST Premiere

Time to Say the Word All LOST Fans Fear...

...Aliens.

Is it a possibility? The producers have artfully deceived us before. They've insisted that the show is not about aliens, but then again, at one point in time they were telling us that the show wasn't about time travel, either. Now that LOST has clearly ascended to the realm of the supernatural, are we reaching a point where the only thing that can explain the miracles of the Island is the idea that it is, in fact, an advanced civilization from another world?



It's almost taboo among LOST fans to even think about aliens as an explanation for the show. To many it comes across as a cheat, a cop out, something that has been done to death in countless movies, series and comics-- wholly unoriginal. But there are early indications-- nothing conclusive of course, that it may be the direction the show is heading. Smokey wants to "go home." The Temple is reminiscent of Mayan architecture, which flies in the face of all of the Egyptian elements we've seen thus far-- unless, of course, one considers the long held fantastical theory that the similarities between the two cultures was because of alien influence.



My point in this post is not to suggest that I believe this theory, or that there aren't a dozen other explanations for the elements I mentioned above. Instead, I want to consider thoughtfully whether aliens as the ultimate explanation for the show would be a bad thing. So much of the fan community recoils in horror when the word is even mentioned that I don't think there's ever been much worthwhile dialogue on the possibility.



Part of that revulsion comes from the overdose of aliens in pop culture of the 1990s. The X-Files pretty much claimed ownership of a certain type of alien mythology, encompassing all of the popular myths about what aliens among us look like, their ships, abductions, experiments and secret ties to the government. X-Files defined those concepts so well, people are put off by another rehash of them. The 90s were also the home of Star Trek in its most popular years. For most of the decade, that multi-billion dollar franchise permeated pop culture with at least two simultaneously running series, a film franchise, comics, toys and all the other trappings. Of course, Trek was replete with aliens.



With those franchises and all the other copycats, it's no wonder people are suffering from alien burnout. We desperately want to believe that the writers of LOST can give us some kind of original explanation for this place they've created that is so mysterious, so magical and so bizarre. However, when a series becomes as outlandish as LOST, the number of solutions to its mysteries starts to diminish to a few broad concepts. At this point, it seems that only aliens, deities, angels or omnipotent spirits could explain what we've witnessed.



What LOST fans DON'T have to fear is that the series will suddenly be populated by green men with big heads and black eyes. If we ultimately learn that Smokey, Jacob and the Island itself come from another world, it will be done in a nebulous fashion more akin to the "GFTW" force that drove events in the classic sci-fi series Quantum Leap. GTFW (God, Fate, The universe, or Whatever) was an umbrella term used to describe the forces that sent Sam Beckett leaping from life to life to "put right what once went wrong." It was clearly some kind of sentience that propelled Sam on his journey, since he leaped to very specific people to accomplish very specific goals. But the series stopped short of saying that the force behind the leaps was God or anything else specific that would have diminished the scope of possible interpretations.

If-- IF-- that's the direction LOST is headed, I don't think the concept of otherworldly visitors will inherently diminish everything that has come before on the show. There is no single sentence one can say that will explain every mystery on LOST. If Jacob and Smokey are aliens, how is it that they influence people and events all over the world? Where do the other Others come from and why are they so loyal? What does all of this have to do with fate and destiny, and the specific people who were chosen to be on the Island, not to mention time travel and parallel universes?



Bottom line: there's a lot more territory to be covered in the last sixteen episodes to be worried about the origins of Smokey. What's more important to the plot is his mission, and what he will be willing to do to go home. I've always been perfectly happy to let the origins of the Island remain ambiguous, but if it becomes implied that they are otherworldly in nature, I can live with that too as long as it doesn't heavily influence the plot (i.e., Jack and co. suddenly start piloting spaceships shooting laser beams at Smokey).

In other news, I learned that there was actually a polar bear cub rescued in 2008 whom the rescuers named Flocke (also the popular term for Fake Locke). Coincidence?

LOST 6x01/2 - LAX Review and Commentary

Have you ever wondered how your life might have changed if something went just a little differently in your past? Maybe, if you got just a few tiny decimal points higher on your GPA, you would have gone to your first choice college instead of your second. How much would change? How many different experiences would you have had?

It appears that we will get an opportunity to see just such an experiment in progress in the sixth and final season of LOST. This was a great premiere and, to me, a return to form for a show I had become somewhat dissatisfied with last season.

In "LAX," we were presented with two worlds-- one in which the Oceanic 815 survivors, fully aware of their past experiences on the Island, wake up in the 2007 "present." At first it appears that their plan failed; somehow, the detonation of Jughead had no effect on their past or future. But in another world, we see Jack and company oblivious to the existence of the Island, which lies deep underwater.



Flight 815 coasts safely over the Pacific and lands in Los Angeles, where its passengers resume their lives uninterrupted. But there are subtle differences in this second reality that indicate that it may not be quite what it seems.

Hurley is now the luckiest man in the world, instead of a numbers-cursed victim.



Shannon stayed in a bad relationship in Sydney rather than returning home with Boone. He sat next to Locke, who successfully went on his walkabout, heading home a seemingly happier man for the experience.



Alarmingly, Desmond was on the plane!



Jack recognizes him, but is he thinking of the time they met while running at the stadium,



or does he have some kind of imprint in his mind of the other reality? And where did Desmond disappear to only moments later?



Most curiously, we learn that Christian Shephard's coffin is mysteriously absent from the plane as it arrives in LAX, and Oceanic can't locate it. Is it possible the coffin "flashed" off the plane as it flew over the Island? More than ever, it seems like Christian Shephard is a major key to the truth of the Island. The mysteries that surround him connect the two realities.



Is he a third party somehow entangled in the rivalry between Jacob and the man in black? It could begin to explain why his son, Jack, and his grandson, Aaron, have been said to be so important to the Island. I picked something up in the recap episode that I hadn't noticed before. There seemed to be a hint of recognition in Ben's eyes when Sun and Frank told him about meeting the man named "Christian" in the abandoned 2007 barracks.



In this alternate world, however, Christian is nowhere to be found. Instead, Jack shares a poignant moment with John at the airport, where he reminds us that he is not always a man of pure science. "Nothing is irreversible," he says of John's paralysis, echoing the theme of this "reset" reality and reminding us that he once experienced an off-Island miracle, when his former wife regained the use of her legs after science had said she would remain crippled for life.



And yet, although history can be changed, it seems these people were still meant to meet in one way or another. As Jack and Locke shake hands, Kate escapes from captivity and forcibly shares a cab with Claire. Much like the scenes in early seasons that showed the crash survivors' lives overlapping with connections that they themselves did not realize, it seems we're being told that their lives are inseparably intertwined. No matter how history changes, they will somehow continue to interact.

The novelty and appeal of the alternate reality comes partly from the cavalcade of familiar faces: Boone, Charlie, Bernard and Rose, Claire, and even Cindy. But probably the most welcome face was John Locke-- the real John Locke. Terry O'Quinn proved again tonight why he is truly the god of LOST by masterfully playing dual roles-- one is light, one is dark.



Whether the real John Locke ever surfaces on the Island in any form again, we now know we'll be seeing him in season 6.

In a more familiar reality, things are looking quite grim. Juliet is dead-- or dies, in what I felt was the low point of the premiere. As an audience, we already had a chance to say goodbye to Jules in last year's finale, in a powerful scene with Sawyer. It seemed unnecessary to waste a third of the first hour digging her out from the Swan station rubble just so she could croak before our eyes before going off to star in V.



The other casualty of the incident was "James LaFleur." That man is gone now, and the hollowed out shell of Sawyer is what's left. For him, the Island is now truly Hell-- a place he cannot escape, condemned to dwell in the misery of his loss.



For Sayid, however, there is hope. Jacob appears to Hurley and sends him to the Temple to save his friend, and the others join the quest. It was a real treat to see Jacob again. In two short hours last season I developed a fondness for this benevolent overseer. Mark Pellegrino played the fabled Jacob with warmth and serenity, a perfect foil to his unnamed rival and just what I would expect of the Island's spiritual guru.



In short order we arrive at the Temple. The Temple seemed like just the kind of place the Others would call home.



We met a few new Others, and their ethnic diversity seems to be a deliberate choice to hint that their ranks are made of a mish-mash of various cultures who have been in contact with the Island in the past.



The reveals in this episode seem indicative of the lightning pace that the season will take. We've seen the Temple. We know what's in the guitar case-- an ankh and another list.



We also see, through Sayid, what probably happened to save young Ben's life in the 1970s.



Don't overlook the irony that Sayid shot Ben, necessitating his healing in the Temple, then Ben's father shot Sayid, necessitating his healing in the Temple. But the process was said by Richard to take away one's innocence-- what does this mean for Sayid?

The most chilling events of the premiere were those that picked up directly after last season's revelations by the four-toed statue. And, more quick reveals move the story right along.



Well, that settles that, doesn't it? While many fans had guessed this, the quick confirmation shows that the writers know how sharp the LOST community is. In the wake of this old menace with a new form, Ben is reduced to a simpering sidekick who cowers in the corner as his new master decimates the "good guys" who challenge him. For the record, I'm going to call Fake Locke/the man in black/Jacob's nemesis/the smoke monster "Smokey" from now on, since it's clear they are all one and the same entity.

At least Richard has the good sense to finally show Ben the truth about what has happened.



But mysteries remain. What is Smokey's relationship to Richard ("good to see you out of those chains")? What is his relationship to the Others ("I'm very disappointed in all of you")? What does he plan to do now that Jacob is dead? Exactly how does he plan to get home?



All of that will be revealed in due time. For now, I am more interested to see if and how the two parallel universes that now exist on LOST will affect one another. Will they ultimately converge into a single reality? We'll know in four short months.

Did you catch the return of the Dharma Shark?

Two completely crazy LOST theories

We're exactly seven days away from the premiere of the final season of LOST. As I have reported earlier, the producers have successfully maintained a media blackout of new footage so as not to reveal what crazy new direction the show will take. Well, almost.

It just wouldn't be LOST without at least one or two tantalizing teasers, would it? And since the producers know the LOST fan community so well, they hid their little morsel deep inside one of the most recent LOST promo commercials-- a commercial that seems composed entirely of old footage on the surface.



But, lo and behold, in that quick montage of images almost unrecognizable to the naked eye, was buried one very carefully chosen screenshot of season 6 footage. SPOILER ALERT! While this image doesn't reveal anything concrete, it is new footage that's just RIFE with speculative potential!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



Fans are affectionately dubbing this image "Claire Littleton 2.0." Just from her appearance-- mature, dead serious, holding a rifle and clad in decidedly Others-reminiscent garb-- it's clear that something is going to be very different about her when she makes her return after a season-long absence.

It's funny that often, my predictions about LOST come true, but take much longer to manifest than I expect, and not quite in the way I thought. I predicted as far back as midway through season 4, when we had learned exactly who would be getting off the Island, that one of the first images we would see upon their return would be a matured, survival-hardened Claire hunting boar-- an image that would clearly portray the loss of innocence and passage of time that had occurred since the Oceanic 6 left the Island. I predicted that those who had left behind might even join the Others. Of course, it didn't happen that way, but nevertheless, here we are, looking at this image of just the type of Claire I had imagined.

I'm not braggin'... just sayin'.

Many fans have speculated that Claire actually died in the explosion of the house when the mercenaries attacked Otherville in season 4. To say nothing of the unlikelihood of surviving such a blast, she mistook Sawyer for Charlie and, in a deleted scene, saw a vision of Christian Shephard while she was still in Ben's house.



Then there was this exchange between Claire and Miles when she first regained consciousness:

CLAIRE: What's going on?

LOCKE: Claire?

SAWYER: You all right, sweetheart?

CLAIRE: Yeah, a bit wobbly, but, uh, I'll live.

MILES: Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that.

Then, before the end of the season, Claire would wake up to see Christian coddling Aaron, follow him into the jungle and disappear, only to resurface as a very different person in "Jacob's" cabin with Christian. She also appeared to Kate in an off-Island vision, saying "Don't you dare bring him back." And that's the last we've seen of the Aussie mama to date.



So what happened to Claire, and what are the bigger implications of the image we've been given on which to speculate? Here's the two promised "crazy theories:"

Theory 1: Many/most of the Others are comprised of people who have died on the Island. They cannot leave the Island, and somehow become "part" of the Island, giving them the ability to move in a non-corporeal form.
What it explains: These undead Others are the source of the whispers. It explains a couple of situations where Others moved very quickly (such as when Juliet's old nemesis Harper appeared before them and then disappeared practically in the blink of an eye). It's how Boone appeared to Locke in his vision in Season 3, and may also predict how we will see a lot of those returning characters in the final season.

I've long been interested in a line Tom had in season 4. When Michael asked him if the Others could leave the Island whenever they wanted, he replied, "Some of us can." This would explain who can and who can't. If you're dead, you're stuck there.

Theory 2: The Island, usually able to "course correct" minor deviations in the timeline, was unable to correct the detonation of Jughead, and therefore reality has splintered into a number of alternate universes.

What it explains: Not much, but it fits with the hints we've been given about season 6. Since I don't think that season 6 will present us with a straight-up reset, thus forcing us to go through another storyline in which the characters return to the Island, I think it's more likely that they will be on the Island in another form. Perhaps they did change history, but in this new reality, ended up on the Island in a completely different way. This would hammer home the idea that they are destined to end up on the Island to fulfill some greater purpose.

With those two CRAZY theories on the table, it's really starting to feel like LOST season is finally here! Seven days people!

Xtra Normal animation on LOST

I just made this little animated movie on a site called Xtra Normal that lets you make short animated movies.

The Late Night Debacle and Everything That's Wrong With Television

If you haven't been following the circus that has become NBC's late night scheduling and personality lineup, here's a brief history. NBC, once the powerhouse network of the 90s that was home to shows like Friends, Seinfeld, and ER, has slipped to a distant fourth in the ratings behind ABC, CBS and Fox. To cut costs, they devised a plan to have Jay Leno, who recently turned the hosting duties of NBC's The Tonight Show over to Conan O'Brien, host a similar prime time variety show featuring comedy and celebrity guests. Such shows are much cheaper to produce than scripted dramas and even reality shows.

The experiment was a colossal failure for all the reasons many had predicted from the outset. Jay Leno seemed watered down from his late night persona in prime time, and people simply aren't used to or interested in that kind of programming at the 10 o'clock hour. The ratings tanked, and local NBC affiliate channels grew angry because their 11 o'clock news programs were also suffering with such a weak lead-in program. At the same time, Conan O'Brien's ratings for The Tonight Show have slipped considerably, though in all fairness, that has typically been the case for at least a short interim period whenever a new host takes over the show.

Through all this, NBC and its affiliates have lost millions of viewers, and hundreds of millions of dollars in advertising revenue. The blame for this rests solely on the shoulders of NBC's executives and their terrible mishandling of the few viable properties the network still has to its name. Now they want to put salt in the wound by returning Leno to late night with a half-hour show at 11:30 PM, pushing Conan and the rest of the late night line-up thirty minutes back. It's a terrible quick fix approach to the situation, and Conan has now announced that he'll have nothing to do with a Tonight Show that technically doesn't come on until the morning (12:00 AM).

How did all of this happen? In my mind, it came about because the executives at NBC have forgotten what kind of television people want to watch. In an age where they compete with video games, the Internet (with its original content and the piracy to which it plays host), increasingly sophisticated cable competition, Blu Ray and DVD, they have panicked at the sight of declining viewership and made rash decisions based on shortsighted thinking. The entire function of the 10 PM Jay Leno Show was to save money, to plug the leaky dam rather than to actually provide programming viewers wanted to see and perhaps restore the network to its former glory.

And that's just the problem with a lot of programming these days. NBC is the most visible quagmire, but all of the networks have largely failed to do in the past decade what any business must in order to survive-- namely, provide a product that their customers want. Even in our struggling economy, Americans are spending more money on entertainment than ever before, yet television viewership, particularly on the networks, has declined. Furthermore, an increasing percentage of television's viewing audience is older, comprised of people who simply aren't embracing new technologies. When you look at the number of new, young viewers television is getting, the picture gets grim. The 18-34 age demographic is the most important to advertisers because they spend the most money. But they are becoming a smaller and smaller portion of the pie.

Think about the last time you had a conversation with someone about television-- not any show in particular, but just about what they like to watch. Chances are, you heard many familiar complaints. There is too much reality TV on the air. All the dramas are cop shows, doctor shows, or lawyer shows. Shows that rival the creativity and variety of decades past are few and far between. These are common complaints and yet, like lemmings following each other off a cliff, the networks continue to churn out more of the same old garbage.


Reality shows manifest from the same mentality as The Jay Leno Show-- they are cheap to produce and take up a time slot. Execs know that many Americans are so lazy or apathetic that they'll watch something they don't like rather than change the channel or turn off the TV. Some reality shows, like American Idol and Dancing with the Stars, are genuine hits. But for every hit there are a dozen knockoffs that are just filler. The networks aren't the biggest offenders in this case; it's the cable channels desperate to fill 24 hours of daily programming that have come to redefine "trash TV." But they're certainly not without fault.

In an old post I made about FlashForward, I mentioned that it seems like TV writers believe that all Americans outside of Hollywood are either cops, doctors or lawyers. Last year the oversaturation of police dramas became so bad that one show called itself "The Unusuals" in a desperate attempt to convince the audience that it was somehow not just another cookie cutter cop show (oops-- it was, and was quickly canceled). It's no secret why such shows, as well as doctor and lawyer shows, are so commonplace. They are easy fodder for mediocre writers and safe bets for executives afraid to risk capital on original ideas. The shows have built-in violence and conflict, and plots that can be recycled ad nauseum (see Law & Order, which was good for its first seven or eight years but is now about as gripping as watching a test pattern). Story ideas can be easily adapted from newspaper headlines. "Characters" can be cardboard cutouts that just go through the motions, and the plots are easily digestible hour-long nuggets. It's lazy writing to match the lazy viewers they hope to pull in.

Dirtbread here shows about the level of creativity involved in concocting today's typical cop show:


To an extent, the reality and cop/doctor/lawyer formulas are successful. There are, indeed, many millions of Americans who will watch such shows because they are there, and not because they are anything stimulating, artistic or memorable. But think longer term: think about the most talked about TV shows of the last decade. A few names that readily come to mind are The Office, The Shield, Rescue Me, LOST, 24, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Battlestar Galactica, The Wire, and The Sopranos. Only two of those shows could be considered close to "traditional" cop shows. And while reality shows may be popular and profitable when they're on the air, no one really remembers anything specific about them when they're gone. I challenge anyone to name a truly famous, timeless moment from a show like Star Search or American Bandstand. In twenty years, American Idol will be exactly the same.

With television being in the state that it is, monkey-headed executives are scratching their heads trying to figure out where those viewers have gone. The single biggest untold story in entertainment in the last decade has been the video game industry and its evolution from a kids' pastime to an adult way of life. The generation that grew up with video games still plays them as adults, only now, the games are more realistic, more submerging, and more interactive than ever. Games are no longer a solitary activity, but rather they are social networks through which one can interact with people all over the world. They're not the realm of geeks or recluses but of mainstream America, and the billions and billions of dollars that they siphon away from television has gone largely unobserved in entertainment reporting.


Sure, there are fundamental differences between television and video games, but the reason for the latter's explosive success is because the industry has responded to what players wanted. As the medium aged, players wanted darker, more adult themed games with increased complexity. They wanted online capability and easy access to content like downloadable games and add-ons. The new systems have adapted to these demands. TV, meanwhile, is still treating the Internet like the enemy, as it is dragged kicking and screaming into the world of online viewing. That's what the Writer's Strike of 2007-2008 was all about.


Television no longer knows its own potential audience. The Jay Leno debacle has proved that all too often, short term cost cutting is winning out over ambitious ventures on fresh material. Conversely, you have a property like LOST, wherein original and talented writers were given creative control, and execs even took the bold step of letting the show reach a natural end date dictated by the creative process rather than the tides of the ratings. Studios used to seem to understand that letting ambitious writers and actors take risks on unique ideas was what eventually resulted in profits-- that staying out of the creative process as much as possible was the key to making the most beloved television shows. Now, they seem determined to either repeat proven formulas and settle for lower viewership, or unnecessarily butt in with entertainers doing their thing, as is the case with Conan O'Brien. Now he appears poised to leave the network, and Leno or whomever ends up with the 11:30 PM slot will face an uphill battle to save face for The Tonight Show and NBC.


The big winner in all this is David Letterman, who is now winning the late night ratings war and seeing NBC reap the fruits of its poor decision making after he was passed up for hosting duties of The Tonight Show nearly twenty years ago. Meanwhile, it's my genuine hope that Conan makes it to another network, perhaps Fox, that gives him total creative freedom and support, as for my money he is the most talented late night host in a generation.

Naturally, I want to avoid speaking in absolutes here, and it's true that a fair number of good, creative shows seep through the cracks. However, they are typically on either cable channels or subscription channels, leaving only a few glimmers of originality like LOST and 24 on the network lineups. Such shows are the exception now, rather than the rule. It's also possible that every generation complains that originality is dead in popular entertainment as they begin to age, and if so, then I am happy to fulfill my obligation in that regard. I'm not a network executive myself and I am indeed playing armchair quarterback to the industry. It's all just one guy's opinion.

Bizarre 80s Memories: The Peanut Butter Solution

Here's a blast from the past. I may end up making this a regular thing for the blog-- stuff I have vague memories of from the 80s that I manage to dig up using the magic of the Internet.


To describe The Peanut Butter Solution as a bizarre movie barely scratches the surface. It's supposedly a kids film, but there are elements in it that are way too scary for young kids, including nightmares about ghosts and dog attacks, not to mention child abduction. Maybe kids of around 12 or 13 could handle this movie, but I was more like seven when I watched it, so it scared the bejeezus out of me.


The movie is about a boy named Michael who one day ventures into a burned down, supposedly haunted house on the way home from school. Inside, he sees what is referred to as "the fright"-- something that remains a mystery for most of the film and is only partially explained by the end. Whatever he sees, it is so scary that his hair literally falls off. Afterward, he is too embarrassed to go to school without hair, especially after trying a wig and being humiliated by a bully.

One night Michael dreams of two ghosts who give him a recipe for a hair growth formula, but because he puts too much peanut butter in the solution, suddenly his hair won't stop growing! Within a couple of days, he has a mane that trails behind him as he walks, with no sign of stopping. Not long after this, he is kidnapped by an insane art teacher introduced earlier in the film, who kidnaps a couple dozen other kids and forces them to-- wait for it-- turn Michael's hair into magical paint brushes that can create paintings of landscapes that people can enter and explore.


Michael's friends track down the kidnapper and his secret paint brush factory, where Michael lays captive, his head continually churning out more hair for the other kids to make into brushes. One of the boys, Conrad, tricks the teacher into painting the house where Michael saw "the fright" and entering it himself. The teacher sees "the fright," giving the kids a chance to escape, but not before Michael re-enters the house through the painting to see what it was he was so afraid of. It turns out to be the same ghosts he saw in the dream, and there is a vague indication that they may have been vagrants who died when the house burned down. Since the teacher saw "the fright," the curse is transferred to him, and Michael lives happily ever after.

Now, if you think the above three paragraphs sound more like an insane acid trip than a movie, you're not alone. Sometimes, weird trippy stories concocted through substance abuse can make for good kids' films, but if this was indeed someone's hallucination, I think it needed more tweaking to make for a proper narrative. The plot is an illogical mess, but the movie is indeed very dreamlike. I guess it boils down to what the intent was.

If you want to check out this craziness for yourself, it was uploaded by some kind soul on Google Video:



If you go to the IMDb page or the comments pages on YouTube, the one common thread among just about everyone who remembers this film is that it scared the living hell out of them when they saw it. First, you have "the fright," which is actually a great plot device, since the imagination is much better than any special effect at conjuring up something so scary that it would literally frighten someone's hair off. Then you have Michael's humiliations at school, compounded by visions of dogs dragging him away by his newly grown hair. The final scene when Michael confronts "the fright" is pretty scary, too.

Maybe all that terror did me some good, because after watching a couple dozen kids get kidnapped and held hostage by a psycho that made them work in a sweatshop all day, I really heeded my parents about not going too far away, talking to strangers, etc. Childhood memories are vague, so I can't say how much impact this had on me, but to this day I remember the dog attack nightmare, even before I re-watched the video today. That's ironic because I absolutely love dogs and have no fear of them whatsoever in real life.

I found a couple of other blog posts about this movie (all also talking about how it terrified them as children) and stumbled upon this trailer for the film:



This trailer is SUCH B.S. it shouldn't even be legal. A "heartwarming comedy!?" It doesn't even mention the kidnapping plot, which is the entire last third of the film. The person who edited this LIE together is responsible for thousands of children's nightmares! I have no doubt that seeing this preview was what convinced my parents to rent the video for me. "Here, son, we're just going to plop you down in front of this heartwarming children's film and go in the next room while your wee brain is twisted by new dimensions of terror!" Mind you, I am not faulting my parents here, rather the blatant false advertising.

Looking at it as an adult, The Peanut Butter Solution is an intensely bizarre film that seems much more ambitious than its budget and screenwriting talent permitted, but not without points of interest and potential. I'd like to hear if you remember any similarly trippy "kids'" movies, from the 80s or otherwise. Post a comment if you have recommendations.